英语每日一笑（天天更新）

zhaoxiuguo · 发表于 2007-12-29 08:37

毛主席教导我们说：笑一次不难，难的是笑一辈子。
在此，每日发一个英语幽默，希望大家天天开心。
大家有好笑的也希望在此跟帖。
看完了笑的希望大家留下自己的脚印，当然也欢迎大家跟帖发英语笑话，那样我们一天就会笑声不断！
祝各位开心！！！！！！！！！！！

zhaoxiuguo · 发表于 2007-12-29 08:39

第一篇 I Hope So
Neighbour: Do you think your son will forget all he learned at college?
　　Father: I hope so —— he certainly can't make a living by kissing girls!

老于 · 发表于 2007-12-29 09:22

呵呵倒也是在学校竟干这个了

赵你也是吧哈哈

zhaoxiuguo · 发表于 2007-12-29 09:49

非常同意

JIMZ · 发表于 2007-12-29 14:33

Ha-ha. Zhao, if like that, you should have something above average especially e.g. handsome or money or smart…...

哈哈哈哈 · 发表于 2007-12-30 13:40

“笑一次不难，难的是笑一辈子。”
俺已经笑了1/3辈子了

zhaoxiuguo · 发表于 2007-12-30 20:14

Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. "Share them with your sister," she said. So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.
　　"Cor!" said his sister, "If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself."

　　"Well," said Harry, "that's what you’ve got, so what are you worrying about?"

　　分苹果

　　妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，一个大一点，另一个小点儿。“跟妹妹分着吃。”妈妈说。

　　所以，哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，自己开始啃那个大个的。

　　“哼，”妹妹说，“如果妈妈给了我，我会把大的给你，把小的留给自己的。”

　　“对呀，”哈里说，“你拿到的不就是小的吗？还着什么急呀？”

　　NOTE

　　Share with 与……分享

哈哈哈哈 · 发表于 2007-12-30 21:59

On a hot summer day an elderly gentleman faints in the street. A small crowd immediately gathers around him.
"Give the poor man a glass of brandy," advises a woman. "Give him a heart massage, " says someone else.
"No, just give him some brandy," insists the woman. "Call an ambulance," yells another person.
"A brandy!" The man suddenly sits up and exclaims. "Shut up, everybody,and do as the kind lady says!"

他真病了吗？
在一个炎热的夏天，一位上了年纪的男子昏倒在街头。一群人立刻围了上去。
“给这个可怜的人一杯白兰地吧。” 一位女士建议。
“给他一点治心脏病的药。” 另外一个人说。
“不，还是给他一些白兰地，”那位女士坚持说。
“还是叫一辆救护车吧。” 有人叫道。
“一杯白兰地。”
这时地上的那个人坐了起来，嚷着，“都闭嘴，就照那位好心的太太说得去做！”

sifenziyi · 发表于 2007-12-30 21:59

Share with Everyone
与大家一起分享

哈哈哈哈 · 发表于 2007-12-31 09:55

调查员:What is your father's name?
: 小弟:Happy!!
: 调查员:What is your mother's name?
: 小弟:Smile!
: 调查员:Are you joking?
: 小弟:No!!That's my sister!! I am Kidding!!
: byebye

老于 · 发表于 2007-12-31 10:10

who can share some food with me ?
i am hungry

JIMZ · 发表于 2007-12-31 11:25

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,

Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(a) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose

9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.

If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.

Eagerly awaiting your reply…

Love, Aakash

JIMZ · 发表于 2007-12-31 11:26

Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........

Aakash ,

Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.

(a) Yes (b) No

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes (b) No

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?

(a) Yes (b) No

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.

You poked your nose inside..... Right?

(a) Yes (b) No

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes (b) No

6) Should I not wait for my best friend ( Anjali ) at the bus stand?

(a)Yes (b) No

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes (b) No

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?

(a) Yes (b) No

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know?

(a) Yes (b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.

Hope everything is clear to you.

哈哈哈哈 · 发表于 2007-12-31 12:14

每日一笑，哈哈，俺理解错了，原来可以一日多笑呀，

哈哈哈哈 · 发表于 2007-12-31 12:15

A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie.
Who is going to eat it?"
The oldest son replied: "Father, I'll eat it all!"
The father then said: "Tomorrow I'm going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?"
The same son answered: "Father,I'll eat it all!"
The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?"
The oldest son answered again: "It's always me, always me. Now it's someone else's turn to volunteer!"

总是我
一位父亲对他的儿子们说：“你们的妈妈明天要烙一张馅饼，谁要吃呢？”
大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”
父亲接着说：“明天我要杀一口猪，谁要吃呢？”
又是大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”
父亲又说：“明天我们要耕地，谁想耕地呢？”
大儿子再次回答道：“总是我，总是我，这次还是让其他人来做吧。”

老于 · 发表于 2007-12-31 13:45

啊哈哈后笑笑笑........................

哈哈哈哈 · 发表于 2007-12-31 13:56

笑一笑，少一少，恼一恼，老一老。

哈哈哈哈哈……又年轻了好几天

哈哈哈哈 · 发表于 2008-1-1 10:18

新的一年继续笑

哈哈哈哈 · 发表于 2008-1-1 10:22

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain. The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go　home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't," the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

三只乌龟
三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”
最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。
两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

benben89 · 发表于 2008-1-1 12:56

嘿嘿能不能用中文讲

英语每日一笑（天天更新）

回复 3# 的帖子

Sharing the Apples

Is He Really Ill?

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I am Kidding!

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A different Love letter

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A beautiful reply to above Love letter

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Its Always Me

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Three Turtles

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